Double hat trick of iconic forbidden things

This is one of those issues you live for in Copy Editor Bingo: a Triple Forbidden Things Score on one page,  bisected by a Triple Forbidden Word Score running vertically through the A section.

At top, on the business front, there's a Stupid Question in the hed, followed by an "iconic" teeing up a perfectly formed Elongated Yellow Fruit in the second graf:

Called the "Sole of the UX," the tires were revealed at Elliott’s New York Fashion Week after-party on February 9. They were modeled after Elliott's AF1 shoe partnership with Nike. The iconic perforated leather shoes, which retail for $150 a pair, are sold out on Nike's website. 

What really makes the magic, though, is the intersecting iconic axis, starting on page 2A:

and going on to the second business page (12A):

 We're not in the word-banning business around here, really. But some shops can feel free to put particular words off limits until the susceptible get over it. In rule form, it goes something like: If you're tempted to call something "iconic," that's a sign that you don't need to.

No, but thanks for asking

Here's how to tell if your sportsball team is on the verge of a miracle:

Has someone turned water into Bud Light?

If not, strike "miracle." Your sportsball team is on the brink of "winning another game," maybe.

Forbidden and unforbidden

I suppose someone took the summer off before returning to the preferred lede for matters coming out of Lansing:

LANSING — Flamethrowers and sky lanterns and drones, OH MY!

So it's a mere four months since:

LANSING — Bed bugs and lady bugs and lice, oh my!

LANSING – Cookies and brownies and Rice Krispies treats, oh my!

All this in addition to an entirely unrelated feature hed that showed up last week:

All of which should call forth the usual questions about whether anybody downtown even bothers to read the stuff before hitting the button anymore. But then comes a phenomenon to which I wish to draw your attention. Here are the main-clause verbs from all the display photo captions in Sunday's "The Blitz," a weekly (at this time of year) section comprising eight open pages devoted to Michigan and Michigan State football*:

Michigan State's Aaron Burbridge, left, catches a pass for a touchdown

Michigan State's Riley Bullough (30) was called for targeting 

Michigan State's Madre London is tackled by Air Force's Kaleel Gaines

Michigan State's Aaron Burbridge is tackled by Air Force's Jesse Washington

Ohio State cornerback Eli Apple runs the ball after an interception

Notre Dame running back C.J. Prosise makes a diving touchdown run against Georgia Tech

Arbor Brewing Company owner Matt Greff, left, toasts Joey Stinson of Eastern Michigan University athletics and Brian McShane, bar manager with Arbor Brewing Company

Jamar Williams, left, and Mike Figgs with EMU athletics pour Arbor Brewing Company beers

Michigan's Ty Issac rushed for 114 yards on eight carries

Michigan's Grant Perry dives into the end zone trying to make a touchdown reception 

Michigan quarterback Jake Rudock scrambles out of the pocket 

Michigan's Ty Issac scampers 76 yards for the Wolverines' third touchdown

U-M's Channing Stribling (8) and Ben Gedeon (42) tackle UNLV wide receive Devonte Boyd

U-M quarterback Jake Rudock threw for only 123 yards against UNLV

By no means is all right with the world. You might wonder, for example, who's right -- the competition, the official-looking fan site or the paper itself -- on the spelling of Ty Isaac/Issac's family name.** Or why there are so many passive verbs explaining what happened to Michigan State players, rather than telling you whether something of interest might have happened during the play. But you do see occasional flashes of competent editing: using the caption to talk about how well a player did overall or what happened on a specific play. Even more important is what you don't see: No one "celebrates" anything.

I'm not sure exactly what it means. It might just mean that this section -- for whatever episodic or systematic reason -- simply didn't carry any photos of athletes celebrating. (Or that photographers have remembered to wake up before the play is over.) Or it might mean that parts of the remnant Freep desk are trying to use cutline space to complement visual journalism: to tell you why you're seeing something, rather than telling you what you're seeing. And it could entirely be an accident. For whatever reason, it's sort of a benchmark. Other papers should strive to have celebrate-free sections.
 
* Yes, the Carnegie Research 1 school a few miles from where this paper is published occasionally rates a line or two. Covering it regularly might involve doing journalism, which is a challenge when it doesn't have the sort of public status that the other research schools within H-bomb radius can command.
** Or whether there are circumstances under which white guys "scamper," but that's the price of teaching the introductory doc studies seminar this year.

No, but thanks for asking

There's still time to grab some bottled water and freeze-dried food and settle in front of the TV!

"Cuba - Losing the Last Battle of the Cold War?" airs Sunday, Jan. 25 at 8 p.m. ET. The program, anchored by "Special Report" host Bret Baier, will take a close look at the two nations and their shared history.

"Last battle of the Cold War" has sort of a Third Battle of Manassas ring to it, though it's not specifically a Fox trick. Journalism has a bad habit of proclaiming grim milestones and psychologically important barriers without much regard to whether the underlying data adds up to something or not. (That pesky Korean situation, for example, might well count as part of the Cold War from some perspectives.) But wait, there's more:

Cuba is many things to many people: To the American military, it’s the location of Guantanamo Bay U.S. Navy base and the terrorist detention facility it hosts. To generations of American presidents, it has been the national security threat at our very doorstep. To Cuban exiles, it’s a long-lost homeland.

I guess we could get three generations out of it: Ike, LBJ, Reagan, Tricky and Ford (birth years 1890 to 1913), JFK, Carter and Bush Sr. (1917-24), and the younguns (1946 and 1961). The bigger question is where, and for how many of those generations, Cuba was "the national security threat at our very doorstep," which seems to be giving away a lot more of the store than the feckless Kenyan did.

Around the world, Cuba is often seen as the little nation that defied the U.S.—and won. 

Just a thought -- do you figure one way to change that perception might be, oh, letting it be known that you're playing a different game?

With the new path in relations, is opening up this “socialist paradise” a chance for Cuba to change its ways, or is President Obama throwing a lifeline to a dying regime? Watch Fox News Channel for answers tonight.

Kind of interesting that anyone might need answers after having seen the question, but -- hey, butts in seats! Pass the freeze-fried popcorn.

No, not really

Did this seem a little strange, if you were wandering around in 50-degree* weather on Tuesday?

It’s beginning to look a lot like a white Christmas in metro Detroit, according to the latest forecast. Rain is expected to persist through Christmas Eve and then turn to snow as temperatures drop, according to the National Weather Service. NWS meteorologist Deb Elliott said metro Detroiters could wake up Christmas Day with 1-3 inches of snow on the ground. She said there is a 70% chance for the white stuff.

Funny, doesn't sound like most of the latest forecasts from Monday and Tuesday. I suppose we'll have to wait and see what Mother Nature and Old Man Winter produce -- but could we do without a few of the Forbidden Phrases while we wait?

* Fahrenheit, for the international audience there.

Basics of editing: Forbidden verbs

Here's the basic cutline rule again: Don't tell me what I'm seeing. Tell me why I'm seeing it. Follow that rule and you'll never be tempted to write "celebrates" when you can write about what's being celebrated. If the touchdown was, as the game story contends, the most significant play of the first half, borrow that description: "Michigan's Devin Furness took a pass that appeared headed for a Penn State defender and walked it in for a 43-yard touchdown in the first quarter."

As for "shares a laugh with," just don't.

No, but thanks for asking

Or perhaps "apparently, for some values of 'ready'."

See what happens when you go out of town for a couple days?* The Great Cliches are loose again and ravening for delight, and nobody wants to stop them. (To the surprise of almost no one -- can we have a show of hands out there? -- they're accompanied by stupid puns on players' names, and if your first guess at the cutline verb for the photo shown here is "celebrates," take a victory lap.)

As a reminder, then: Heds including the phrase "ready for some football?" are permanently banned, under all circumstances, forever and ever amen. Nor shalt thou ever be amused enough by the sort of plays you can make on people's names to put one in a headline. And no cutline unto the end of time shall ever say "celebrates" (or "reacts," or "looks on," or "gestures while he speaks") again. If some part of that is unclear, leave a comment, and someone on the staff will be right with you see that you are left on the midden for the wolves.

* Saw some but not nearly enough of the Philosophy School gang, did lots of Service to the Profession and Academy, saw too little of the old native city, presented the empirical version of some earlier posts.

3 shot in shooting!

Since the event was a "shooting," do you figure there might be a slightly more informative passive verb than "shot"? Maybe "injured," for example? And since it happened Friday afternoon, is there something more relevant to talk about on the homepage than what emergency crews were up to at 4:51 p.m.? (As of this writing, the most recent update was 8:40 a.m.) And could we get around to banning "respond" in cop ledes, please?*

The second example illustrates (as did the first) why the passive voice is generally preferred for crime stories. Passive heds make it easier to emphasize outcome, rather than process -- to talk about what happened (people were shot), rather than which agencies did which parts of their job (police investigated). Leaving out the subject lets the hed say more about the object ("S.C. man indicted," for example). And, in this case, you'd have the added advantage of being more grammary; "indict" is transitive, so it needs an object.

One more tip: Couldn't  you do a shift-enter before "in" to keep the prepositional phrase all on one line? Granted, that one's pretty trivial, and hed phrasing is the sort of thing Old Editors have long emphasized in the hope, rather than the knowledge, that readers prefer it. Good editing, though, is less about the amazing catch that leads the sportscast than about the accumulation of small things -- lots of small things -- done right. That needs to be our claim for a role for editors -- lots of editors -- in the professional product.

* Yes, stylebook fans, "Streets" should be lowercase. That'd be a nice touch, though I expect the lay reader would find "responding to scene" more annoying.

Up, up and away!

One thing's certain: It's...
a) official
b) not easy being green
c) time for another reminder about annoying seasonal cliches and the grisly fates awaiting newspapers that use them!

Please. Before Christmas comes early, call it another one for the Forbidden Heds list.

Sunday news: By the numbers

All the other kids are doing it, so -- have some Sunday Freep By The Numbers!

Number of sports cutlines using the verb "celebrate"

Words into Mitch Albom's lede (the one in sports; he has two on Sundays) you have to dig before finding an antecedent for the subject of the first sentence.

Days in a row a major international disaster has been covered with standalone art (or "lines only," if you needed some new insider vocabulary).

For the record:

Blackhawks' Patrick Sharp, right, celebrates one of his three goals in the third period on Saturday. (3D, and sharp-eyed readers are right: Anarthrous "Blackhawks" here is standard in British Sports English, but not in American)

Jenison players celebrate a point against Birmingham Marian during the Class A Volleyball Finals at Kellogg Arena on Saturday. (5D)

Ohio State players celebrate with their fans o the Michigan Stadium field after the Buckeyes' 14-3 win over Michigan on Saturday. (3E)

MSU receiver Devin Thomas (5) celebrates his 26-yard touchdown pass with QB Brian Hoyer on Saturday (6E).

Michigan State safety Nehemiah Warrick celebrates the Spartans' 35-31 victory with the fans at Spartan Stadium on Saturday (7E).

A Gatorade-soaked coach Mark Dantonio celebrates Michigan State's comeback win Saturday against Penn State (8E).

Six in a day is just ... Gehrigesque. Ruthian. DiMaggioid. Angels dine at the Ritzy.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

Every year the warnings go out. And every year they get ignored:

'Hannah' fans rejoice: More tickets soon
Parents, Christmas just came early for you and your kids.

No, no, no. Never, never, never. "Christmas came early" is forbidden in all forms, in all media, under all circumstances. Which of those did the author of this appalling lede deem it exempt from?

Directly addressing the reader is what's called an "aggravating factor." Some readers might have moppets who have better stuff to do ("Wow, Mom! SPSS 15.0!"), and it's generally wise for news organizations not to assume all their readers fit a particular zombie mode.

John McIntyre has posted a comprehensive warning list of forbidden holiday cliches over at his excellent blog. Please heed it. All copy editors understand the occasional need to beat our heads against a brick wall. We only get irritated when we have to beat our heads against the same brick wall over and over and over again.

The torture never stops

Q: And how are things on the sports photo desk at certain large metropolitan dailies?
A: Glad you asked!

Things were heating up in Boiling Springs, N.C. on Thursday, where students celebrated little Gardner-Webb's big win Wednesday night in Kentucky's Rupp Arena. (2D Friday)

Dan Cleary, who tipped in a shot by Brett Lebda, background, celebrates after giving the Red Wings a 1-0 first-period lead over Columbus. (1B Saturday)

Lions holder and punter Nick Harris, left, watches as kicker Jason Hanson celebrates a field goal. (7B Saturday)

Illinois' Antonio Steele (40) celebrates his third-quarter interception with Justin Harrison. (3E Sunday)

Michigan State running back Jehuu Caulcrick celebrates the Spartans' 48-31 victory over Purdue with fans Saturday at Ross-Ade Stadium in West Lafayette, Ind. (5E Sunday)

Q: Wow! So it's pretty much Wait Till Next Year for all the other Forbidden Verbs?
A: Not so fast. When the going gets tough, the tough get going:
Allison Schmitt, right, shares a laugh with teammate Monica Blaesser during last year's Division 1 finals meet at Oakland University.

Q: Any early signals on the Forbidden Headlines front?
A: Yes.
Going bowling?
Hoyer leads Spartans to their 6th win
A quick reminder that the jaws of hell gape for "Bowled over" and all its minions and catamites.

Forbidden verb

Dear Freep desks: Enough with "celebrate." No more. Please. Ever.

Lions’ fans celebrate after Jason Hanson kicks the game-winning field goal in overtime against Minnesota at Ford Field on Sept. 16. (11/6, 8D)

Things were jumping at Ford Field on Sunday – like Lions wide receiver Shaun McDonald, who leaped to the front row to celebrate his third-quarter touchdown catch with fans. (11/5, 1A)

BLUE HEAVEN: Michigan’s Adrian Arrington and Marion Manningham celebrate the game-wining touchdown late in the fourth quarter – Chad Henne’s 31-yard pass to Manningham. (11/4, 1A)

Auburn Hills Oakland Christian goalkeeper Kramer Everett celebrates Wednesday’s win over Southfield Christian. (11/1, 1C)

Lions defensive end Dewayne White, left, celebrates his fourth-quarter sack with Cory Redding during Sunday’s game at Chicago. (10/29, 1D)

Cleveland’s Braylon Edwards (U-M) takes off his helmet to celebrate a 19-yard gain vs. the Rams. (10/29, 6B)

During happier times. MSU tailback Jehuu Caulcrick celebrated his touchdown in the first overtime. (10/28, 1E)