Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Wasn't that Superman's father?

if you're scoring along at home, yes. Dumb plays on people's names are still forbidden, even in the party press.

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Those pesky snow shovels

OK, a few points:

1) By all accounts, "spring" is right on schedule. It starts in a month.
2) Since you're not leading with the earthquake, I'm going to guess that we're still in "Michigan." Where it, you know, actually snows in the spring.
3) Given those presumptions about the fabric of space-time, should you maybe have remembered what happened last time snow was in the forecast -- say, last month?

Enough snow shovels. Think of the children.

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Monday, February 22, 2016

Calls make claim

Want to take a swing at what the hed means without reading the story?

Read more »

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Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Mess him up, Franny

As we've noted before, one of the best ways to make the Fair 'n' Balanced homepage is to hit -- or slam, or blast, or punch back. So sparks must have flown when Trump yanked the old Argentine firecracker's chain once too often, right?

The Vatican responded late Tuesday to Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump's criticism of Pope Francis' plan to visit the border wall that separates Mexico from the U.S.

Don't hold back, Fox! Let's see how it started:

... In an interview with Fox Business Network last week, Trump said that he did not believe Francis understood what he called "the danger of the open border we have with Mexico."

"I think Mexico got him to [visit the border] because Mexico wants to keep the border just the way it is because they’re making a fortune and we’re losing," Trump added.

Because you know who's going to finish it, right?

In a statement, Vatican spokesman the Rev. Federico Lombardi said, "The pope always talks about migration problems all around the world, of the duties we have to solve these problems in a humane manner, of hosting those who come from other countries in search of a life of dignity and peace."


Anyway, you can see how they might have gotten confused there. No doubt this one took a few calls from the bunker to clarify who was the good guy and who was the bad guy.

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Saturday, February 13, 2016

13 Detroit fallout shelters that are bigger on the inside

BuzzFeed style meets Heritage Foundation fear appeal, and the results will amaze you!

Unfortunately, the map itself doesn't live up to the interactive promise of the email alert. If the asserted range of the missile upgrade is correct, the answer is "yes, if you live in the United States." If the previous assessment holds up, then they're not going to get much closer than Ypsilanti (sorry, Eastern) -- but what we're really looking for here is some mouseover action, maybe with mushroom clouds. Promising and not delivering is bad new-media manners, you guys.

At a fount of knowledge I worked at back in the previous millennium, a business writer summed up one of the periodic efforts to liven up the frontpage presentation: "It's like seeing my grandma at the disco." With respect to his gran and grans everywhere (especially those who stop in here every now and then), be reminded: One does not make the transition from Police Detain Suspect to Cops Nab Thug in this one weird trick.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Who had 'turn on the TV'?

Unless there's a new drinking game here to clue us in to, I think the instructions go something like this:

1) Turn on the TV
2) Sit in front of the TV
3) Watch debate

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Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Thanks, liberal media!

Why do we need Fox News when we have -- oh, CBSNewYork?

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — Controversy continues to swirl around Beyonce’s Super Bowl halftime show performance.

And why would we think it does that?

The pop superstar is being accused of using her performance to attack police officers.

By -- anyone in particular?

“I think it was outrageous that she used it as a platform to attack police officers, who are the people who protect her and protect us,” former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani told CBS2’s Dick Brennan.

Well, that must be serious! What apparently seemed to be happening?

Beyonce and her dancers were wearing leather and black berets, which was apparently a nod to the Black Panthers movement.

One dance formation seemed to acknowledge Malcolm X, and other dancers had fists in the air, which was reminiscent of the black power salutes of the 1960s and 70s.

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Tuesday, February 09, 2016

I mixted you a metąphor

Somehow, I think we're missing the point here:

Hamtramck — It's Black Friday for foodies.

It's a last taste of decadence before a season of denial and penance.

It's Fat Tuesday. Paczki Day, as Metro Detroiters know it.

I'm not bothered by likening a Tuesday to a Friday, but Black Friday seems like the wrong one for a "last taste of decadence before a season of denial." Nor (having had two last night and one this morning) am I convinced that paczkis* are the stuff "foodies" are made of.
 But it wouldn't be a holiday without a little excess writering in the press, would it?

* Like both local papers, I kind of go both ways on how to pluralize it.

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Wednesday, February 03, 2016

And it tasted like chicken

Just a reminder, as useful for natural disasters as it is for campaign coverage: If it's the first thing that comes to mind, lie down and wait for a second thing to come to mind.

Headlines shouldn't be a drinking game. Storms don't have to sound like freight trains. Unfamiliar parts of nonnative reptiles don't have to taste like chicken. You don't have to say "establishment lane" or "Granite State" or "gloves came off" -- let alone "Real Clear Politics average." Think of the children.

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