When the drone team writes the stories

So if you're a fan (and who isn't?) of the agenda-setting function of the Fox News homepage, you too might be wondering about the news value of timeliness: why some events take longer than others to break through, even if you've already seen them elsewhere. Here's a working suggestion: Events don't become stories until the elements of a story -- a cast, a plot, a complication, and so forth -- are in place. So if those pesky algae blooms in the Reflecting Pool weren't a story before 5:59 a.m. Saturday, one reason could be that the president didn't pin the blame on the Radical Left Lunatic vandals until 9:59 p.m. Friday.*

Or it might take just a little more time -- and the right touch -- to explain to people why there's actually a stable genius in charge. Hence the two-day-old Axios interview that replaced the Dumocrats' Reflecting Pool attack at the top of the homepage Saturday afternoon, in which that thing on Wednesday really was an unconditional surrender:

President Donald Trump is revealing new details surrounding the United States’ negotiations with Iran just days after both countries signed a memorandum of understanding calling for the war to end. 

In an interview with Axios’ Marc Caputo published Thursday, Trump weighed in on the 14-point MOU between the two countries and pushed back on claims that the agreement is not the same as an unconditional surrender from Iran. 

"Well, it really probably is unconditional surrender," Trump said.

"Is it?" Caputo questioned.

"I think so," Trump replied. "Look, they have no military. They're all at the bottom of the sea. 159 ships. That's what they had." 

Well, I guess that settles it. But you said something about "new details" -- those Foxclusive gems that justify the wait?

Trump went on to double down on the U.S.'s efforts to decimate Iran’s military operations as he highlighted the successful assassinations of some of the country’s most powerful leaders. 

"There's no airplanes," Trump said. "They had a lot of 'em. There were 200 of them. They're all gone. Navy. 159 ships, right? All at the bottom of the sea. Leadership, their first stringers all gone, including Khomeini,** the first one. They then put a new group in there. Very good, but very nasty. I dealt with 'em. They're gone. They're all gone."

If you say so. But what about those crippling secret strikes?

According to Trump, the U.S. spent nearly two months wiping out Iran’s ships in a covert, overnight operation.

"Do you know that for the last two months, I've been taking many ships out there and nobody knew it," Trump continued. "You know why they didn't know it? Because we knocked out their radar. We knocked out all of their defensive stuff and they were unable to see. Last week we had one night, 25 ships. One night, 22. One night, 19. One night, 21. So every night all these ships out."

Starting to wonder about the two-month overnight ship massacre? Given that Fox has been attributing the "159 ships" figure to Trump since at least April 23?

Trump went on to provide more details surrounding the undercover efforts.

"Oh, people were saying, ‘Where is this oil coming from?’ Nobody knew," Trump added. "We'd leave at one o'clock in the morning, all lights off, and we'd have our Navy destroyers going alongside and they had no equipment because we destroyed all of the equipment that would normally be used to detect this."

"And I went for a month and a half taking many ships out there every night at one o'clock in the morning. And we were never detected until about a week ago. And then I announced that we're doing it."

You can be forgiven for thinking that the writer -- "a media and culture writer for Fox News Digital, and a Fox Flight Team drone pilot" -- has gotten two meanings of "take out" confused. Trump has shifted gears to another familiar claim ("taking out" = helping tankers escape the Persian Gulf), but Fox is still back at the last intersection, trying to flesh out the stroke of military legerdemain that decimated the Persians' triremes*** and compelled them to the peace table. 

It's a great story for Fox readers, as long as you take the time to tell it right.

* All times Eastern US
** 1900-1989. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
*** If you say "Is this the face that launched 15.9 ships?" I will personally hit you upside the head with an AP Stylebook.