Elongated grammatical pastries

Two things are always true about Paczki Day in Detroit:

1) The local fishwrap will be at pains to remind you that "paczki" is plural and that you should NEVER EVER use it as a singular
2) It's going to be a footrace of a slugfest of a grand slam dunk of a Hail Mary to see what gets to the finish line first, singular "paczki" or the Elongated Yellow Fruit. And it's close again this year:

 There's another one in the cutline, if you're scoring along at home: "adds butter to a paczki." (Previous paczki whinges here, here and here.)

It's nice, in a way, to observe distinctions like paczek/paczki. I'm almost tempted to call it quaint, except that questions about when foreign words get to retain their own plurals and when we assign them whatever we like can turn into larger social issues before we quite realize it. If you're going to maintain that "paczki" is only and always a plural, though, you might want to assign the same person to read all components of the display with that idea in mind. You could call that person -- I don't know, a copyczker or something.

Low-hanging yellow fruit

Try a little harder, Fair 'n' Balanced Network! This hed should have been a low-hanging yellow fruit:

The murder suspect eluded police for decades, until he got a hankering for a hot dog at a hockey game.

Jerry Westrom, 52, ate the hot dog while watching his daughter play hockey, then he wiped his face with a napkin and threw it away.

Westrom did not know that while he watched the hockey game, police were watching him.

Police retrieved the napkin Westrom discarded and found his DNA matched that collected at the scene of the 1993 cold-case murder of 35-year-old Jeanne Ann "Jeanie" Childs. Westrom, who was charged with second-degree murder last week, posted $500,000 bail and was released from jail following a court hearing where his wife, children and 20 other supporters looked on from the gallery.

Turning a napkin into a "hot dog accessory" is good, sure, but you need the modifier to bring it home. Given the circumstances, why not the "mustard-stained hot dog accessory"?