Elongated yellow replica

No. No, he can't. Nor is "replica" an improvement on "the hairy creature" or "legendary furry creatures."

But next time you have a one-on-one with the head of the Ohio Bigfoot Conference:

They are especially adept at hiding and seem to have their own language, DeWerth said.

... be sure you ask how many words they have for "snow," OK?

(Thanks to the Central Ohio Bureau.)

Return of the huskies

In today's "Barney and Clyde," the streetwise Clyde is enlightening his wealthy friend Barney about the many ways to describe the way tourists walk: "Like the Eskimos and 'snow,' we have 50 words for 'slow.'"

Well, sure, it's not especially original, but it's not even especially original to "B&C." Here's a relevant chunk of the strip from Feb. 5, 2012, with Barney bringing up the Eskimos:

 Wonder when it will show up next?

Snowpocalypse now

In which nonfunnny humor columnists demonstrate that they can be nonfunny across platforms.

5,280 words for "stayin' alive"

How many words do those wacky Inupiaq have for "awesome," Nation's Newspaper of Record?

The Barrow Journal article on Oct. 17, about the fall subsistence whale hunt in Barrow, Alaska, misstated a greeting exchanged between the captain of a crew that killed a whale and a crowd onshore. They shouted “aarigaa” at each other — an Inupiaq word meaning “very good.” The captain did not shout, and the crowd did not respond, “Ah ah ha!”

You can only hope that the crowd at Barrow High football games isn't given to chanting "Na Na Hey Hey."