Friday, December 19, 2014

Forget flood. Interview Satan.

There's good news tonight, Mr. and Mrs. America, and it's right there in the No. 3 position on the Fair 'n' Balanced homepage:

A Michigan lawmaker has snatched victory from the clutches of Satan, just in time for Christmas.

Forget flood. Interview God Satan!

A nativity scene will grace the Statehouse lawn in Lansing after all, instead of leaving a satanic display as the capitol’s only holiday exhibit. The creche was saved when state Sen. Rick Jones volunteered to ensure that the Christian display would be packed up each night to comply with regulations.

If you're by now scratching your head and wondering exactly what Satan had said, or how tightly he was clutching victory in the first place, here's the summary. Some heathens in Detroit had asked to add a festive display to those on offer at the Capitol, and, having agreed -- pesky Satanists -- to follow the rules about overnight display, were approved. And the home team choked:

... an unnamed, out-of-state group that had planned to position a nativity scene on the lawn said it would be unable to with the Michigan Legislative Council Facilities Agency prohibition against leaving such exhibits up between 11 p.m. and 6 p.m.

Until Sen. Jones stepped in, and needless to say, he gets the last word too:

... "They hope for attention. In other states they have won by getting all displays banned. We will not allow them to win in Michigan. They can have their snake and all the darkness it represents."

Considering that it's actually a fairly festive snake, and it's holding a present with a bright red bow, there comes a point at which you have to ask: Why does state Sen. Rick Jones hate Christmas? But Fox's bumbling through the monotheistic thickets is just beginning; in the story next door, Witchfinder-General Todd Starnes has caught the federal education bureaucrats smuggling Islam into Pitt County:

Parents in Farmville, North Carolina want to know why their children were given a Common Core vocabulary assignment in an English class that promoted the Prophet Muhammad and the Islamic faith.

“It really caught me off guard,” a Farmville Central High School student who was in the class told me. “If we are not allowed to talk about any other religions in school – how is this appropriate?”

The Islamic vocabulary worksheet was assigned to seniors.

“I was reading it and it caught me off guard,” the student told me. “I just looked at it and knew something was not right – so I emailed the pages to my mom.”

Whence the promoting?

... The lesson used words like astute, conducive, erratic, mosque, pastoral, and zenith in sentences about the Islamic faith.

So not only is the vocabulary not especially Islamic, but the promotion is ... 

“The responses to Muhammad’s teachings were at first erratic."

OK, got it. Go ahead and skip to the quiz if you can guess what's coming next:

I spoke to one parent who asked not to be identified. She was extremely troubled by what her child was exposed to in the classroom.

“What if right after Pearl Harbor our educational system was talking about how great the Japanese emperor was?” the parent asked. “What if during the Cold War our educational system was telling students how wonderful Russia was?”

The parent said the material was classwork disguised as Islamic propaganda.

Well, that sounds pretty clever. But his feet aren't quite as crossed as those of another Fox expert, holding forth downpage on the latest ISIL tales from the Near East:

The group follows a strict interpretation of the Sunni faith which is against idolatry of anything other than God.

That is sort of the gold standard of idolatry, wouldn't you think?

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