Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Always at war with Eastasia

And how is the usurper shredding the very fabric of society today, Fair 'n' Balanced Network?

Valuable vehicles and equipment are being yanked from law enforcement agencies across the country by the Obama administration in the wake of the president’s post-Ferguson order -- as sheriffs and lawmakers tell FoxNews.com the equipment is needed, and losing it could put officers and the communities they serve in danger.

“These things are useful tools and the president taking them away will put more officers in jeopardy and at risk of harm or even death. I don’t know how he can sleep at night knowing his actions will have those repercussions,” Rep. Mike Rogers, R-Ala., told FoxNews.com.

And when was it the feckless Kenyan put his totalitarian plot into motion?

President Obama issued Executive Order 13688 in January after the 2014 riots in Ferguson, Mo., amid concerns about the “militarization” of the police fueling a heavy-handed response.

If only some commentator at Fox had warned us in mid-2014!

I want the police to be better armed than the bad guys, but what exactly does that mean today?

Apparently it means the Pentagon and Department of Homeland Security equip even the tiniest rural police departments with massive military vehicles, body armor and grenade launchers. The equipment is surplus from the long wars we fought in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Read more »

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Monday, November 23, 2015

Hat trick of stupid

In case the subtlety of "Geiger" and "Count it!" blew past you, there's always "aglow" and "atomize."


Sunday, November 22, 2015

No, but thanks for asking

Here's how to tell if your sportsball team is on the verge of a miracle:

Has someone turned water into Bud Light?

If not, strike "miracle." Your sportsball team is on the brink of "winning another game," maybe.


Saturday, November 21, 2015

Leave the rooster -- that's human interest

The only thing better than getting the boss's name into a frontpage hed is spelling the boss's name correctly in a frontpage hed:

The graduates of the Ailes Apprentice Program class of 2015 were honored in New York City Thursday in a ceremony hosted by Fox News anchor Harris Faulkner, and featuring remarks from Fox News Chairman & CEO Roger Ailes, along with singer and Fox News contributor Santita Jackson.

Roll down to page 3 here if this seems at all unusual to you.


Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Today in Kenyan Muslim perfidy

Because why talk policy, tactics or Carly Fiorina's obsession with the US 6th Fleet when you've got the usurper making his usurper-y face and saying ... what was it he said, Fair 'n' Balanced Network?

Three days after teams of Islamic State terrorists brazenly carried out raids across Paris that left 129 people dead, President Obama labeled the slaughter a "setback" in responding to questions about his policies.

Well, he did use just slightly stronger language, even if "the terrible events were terrible" is going to cost him a letter grade in J2100:

"There will be setbacks and there will be successes. The terrible events in Paris were obviously a terrible and sickening setback," Obama said Monday.

But the point is the same: Western Civ is in peril, and the smirking Kenyan puts it off as a "setback." Do the comments just seem to write themselves?

129 innocent lives lost is a 'setback' to this freak?? What  a sorry POS!!!

Benghazi was a video and Paris is a setback.  Ferguson was a tragedy.

All these "setbacks" are hurting the "setback" in chief's GOLF GAME!

.....and uneducated people still have no clue why Neville Chamberlain was an international failure....

129 human beings dead and the best o-bozo can do is call it a setback? I am surprised he did not use these deaths to push gun control.

If OBOLA calls the Paris TERRORIST ATTACK a "setback", what would he call a TERRORIST ATTACK with a nuclear weapon?

For the French, the Paris attacks are an act of war. For Obama, the Paris attacks are a "setback." Neville Chamberlain would have loved Obama.

See a couple of trends converging here? There's the Kenyan's inability to call stuff what it is, and there's the Churchill-Chamberlain comparison: implicitly, that Real Men (OK, real white men) don't talk like that. Which suggests a comparison: What would Churchill do? Conveniently, we have some idea, because Churchill was a pretty prolific writer -- here, for example, writing to the prime minister of New Zealand in January 1942:

But who could have foretold the serious opening setback that the United States suffered on December 7, with all that this and subsequent losses of our two fine ships entail?

Well, that can't be right. Surely Churchill won't stumble when the subject is BENGHAZI!!!! Or would that be ...

Chapter II

   ... This retreat of nearly three hundred miles ruined our hopes and lost us Benghazi and all the stores General Auchinleck had been gathering for his hoped-for offensive in the middle of February. Rommel must have been astounded by the overwhelming success of the three small columns with which he started the attack.

Outrage appears to have a lot more to do with who you are than with the scale of your setback. There's much more to digest in the past few days' events, but if you're trying to figure out whether the knobs on the fear amplifier really do go up to 11, Fox is always a good place to start.

Saturday, November 07, 2015

Peever and peeveress He created them

How are things on the Get Off My Lawn front over at The Journalist's Bible?
Q. Is it permissible (by today's rules) to start a sentence with "And"? – from Vancouver, Wash. on Thu, Nov 05, 2015
A. Yes, but avoid overusing that phrasing.

Apparently we're not going to set this one to rest without appealing to a Higher Power, so -- how about it, Creator of Heaven and Earth?

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

OK, so it takes the almighty all of two verses to drop a coordinating conjunction on an independent clause. Surely He wouldn't overuse that phrasing, would He?
  • And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.*
  • And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
  • And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
  • And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.
  • And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.
  • And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
Calm down, ye peevers, and notice a few things God didn't do. "It's official: In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth," for example. The gloves goeth not on, the gloves cometh not off, and Christmas cometh not early (though -- spoilers! -- that's a plot point in the sequel). But if your question is whether "today's rules" allow you to begin a sentence with "and," the answer is: Yes, and they have ever since "today's rules" meant Shakespeare. And you could look it up, but you (and the AP editors) probably have better stuff to do.

* I know it's traditional to number the verses, but bullets would have looked better on the PowerPoint

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Wednesday, November 04, 2015

When porcupines attack

It's always a shame when the comments aren't enabled, because "brutal porcupine attack" could have set off a really good round of Fox Comments Bingo.* All we can do instead is wonder how this tale managed to get around the world so fast and so -- OK, did you guys look at the picture (below) over at the highly reliable Daily Mail? Which suggests that most porcupine attacks were written by Monty Python in their prime and begin with something like "Hold still while I back into you"?

Here's the Fox lede, appropriated from Sky News, which wasn't even the first UK outlet on the scene:

Three Canadian dogs are recovering after being spiked by a porcupine, as their owner receives support from the public to help cover the vet bill.

At a glance, the story appears to have originated from a GoFundMe post last week (where the attack was a "nasty encounter"), then languished in the local media until it sprang to life on Tuesday at the Star ("a brutal brawl," if you count being jumped on by a pit bull as a "brawl") and the Huffington Post ("an attack by a porcupine") before crossing the Atlantic to the Mail ("attacked by a porcupine and stabbed with barbs all over"). It reached the quality press** ("Porcupine attacks three dogs in Canada") and ITV (my personal favorite hed, "Dog narrowly survives lethal spiking from porcupine") before migrating back our shores, and the rest had better be history, because it ain't zoology.

Fox isn't the only US outlet to blame the victim for the mugging here, and certainly not the only one to confuse "after" and "during." But one could fairly wonder exactly what associations are going on in the editorial mind when the only "brutal attack" to make the frontpage is, you know, an angry porcupine in Saskatchewan.

* BENGHAZI !!!!!!! is the free space in the center, so basically, if you have Sharia, Chicago, Al Sharpton and Moochelle's lunch menu, you've got bingo.
** OK, the Torygraph

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