You provide the prose poems ...

What do you suppose was the top story for most of Friday at the Formerly Fair 'n' Balanced Network?

From siccing wild dogs on his own uncle to gunning down his enemies with artillery meant for taking out planes, North Korea's Kim Jong Un has built a reputation for dispatching with extreme prejudice all those who cross him.

While some of the terrifying methods of execution have never been confirmed, the mere mention of them is sure to keep his inner circle in line - and any potential rivals quiet, say experts. A confirmed favorite tactic, blowing people away with anti-aircraft guns, leave victims unrecognizable.

I'm not sure if the grammar is there to distract you from the admission that the story's bogus or the other way around. Anyway ...

"Because there are several guns bound together, it would be hard to find the body after firing it once," Hong Hyun-ik, chief researcher at the Sejong Institute, a security think tank based in Seoul, told local broadcaster YTN in 2015. "It's really gruesome."

In late February, South Korean officials revealed that five North Korean officials had been subjected to the particularly grisly form of overkill. Other methods trickle out of the secretive Hermit Kingdom, their unverified status only burnishing the legend of Kim's depravity.

A report that one official was killed by a mortar round has been treated with skepticism. But the tale sent a strong message when coupled with his alleged crime: drinking and carousing during the official mourning period following the death of Kim's father, the equally brutal Kim Jong Il.

... Perhaps the most frightening method of execution ordered by the 33-year-old, third-generation dictator is allowing a pack of starving dogs to devour enemies. In one notable case, the victim was purportedly Kim's own uncle.

Jang Song-thaek was thought of as a father figure to Kim Jong Un, and served as the second-in-command to the supreme leader. But when he ran afoul of Kim in 2013 for "anti-state acts" and "double-dealing," his familial ties couldn't save him from his nephew's wrath.

How Jang died may never come to light, but a rumor that he was fed to dogs was widely reported. Other reports subsequently claimed that Jang was likely executed by anti-aircraft guns before his body was incinerated by flamethrowers.

The gout-addled Kim also had several of his uncle's cronies killed, and was reportedly "very drunk" when he gave the orders.

According to a report from the Institute for National Security Strategy, a South Korean think tank, Kim has ordered the execution of more than 340 individuals since taking power in 2011. The report also indicates that the number of military and government officials purged by Kim since 2011 has increased every year. Just 3 officials were executed in 2012, compared to about 140 since the beginning of 2016.

Surely there's a point to all this?

... Americans consider Otto Warmbier, the 22-year-old college student sentenced to 15 years' hard labor for stealing a poster, to have effectively been a victim of Kim's bloodlust. It may never be known what killed Warmbier, but he was returned to the U.S. last week, 17 months after beginning his sentence, in a terminal state. He was buried Thursday.

That would be a pretty easy question to poll, as long as you don't mind a high proportion of "whaaa?" answers.  I have no idea what the answer would be, the bright side of which is that Fox doesn't either. But this is a matter on which there will be no deviating from the party line. Massster has a war to start!

Oh, and while we're keeping score? Seditious libel has been a more frequent theme over at Fox in the past seven months or so, but it's unusual for two of the top four stories to be sedition-themed. You read it here first.