Maj. Houlihan, call your office

It pains me to think that "gets shot" heds have been showing up here for nearly a dozen years now. Please stop. Think of the children.

And while we're at it, dear friends downtown:

If your first response is "then why is he running?" -- congratulations, I think. I'm not sure how we got that particular hed out of this:

... The reality show we’ve been watching — "Celebrity Apprentice: White House Battle” — requires the attention of all Democrats and Independents in Washington.

“I’ve got to stay and fight,” he said. “After (Trump) was elected, I knew it would change the way I looked at my job. I knew that it would potentially interfere with (a gubernatorial run). But what he represents beyond ideology is the lack of respect he has for democratic institutions like an independent judiciary and a free and independent media. He represents such a threat that it changed my thinking.”

Where does that leave Michigan? Stories about the governor’s race were ready to write themselves: Kildee and Flint versus any and every GOP leader currently in office who watched and did nothing while Flint residents drank and bathed in lead-tainted water for years.

Years.

But here’s the thing: The governor’s race still should be about Flint. Not just Flint. From now on, anyone seeking to represent any town, city, state or nation must know that they will not be allowed to ignore constituents just because they aren't rich or CEOs.

... but I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time. On general, if you talk about what people are doing, rather than what they're not doing, you'll find it easier to write a hed that's understood first thing in the morning.