Saturday, November 05, 2016

Nonelongated nonyellow fruit

If you have to run (what amounts to) a free ad at the top of an inside page for a real estate agent, could you at least leave out the ...

Kid Rock’s ancestral seat includes a 5,628-square-foot house (that has a 1,811-square-foot lower level) with indoor Jacuzzi room and a giant fireplace, as well as a large guest house, two garages that accommodate a total of five cars, and the apple orchard where Kid Rock has told biographers he once picked the red fruit.

Or, failing that, attend to the parallel structure?

The four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house is steps away from a private stable with two horse stalls and a tack room, a tennis court, and the estate sports the name “Apple Crest Farm,” [your name here] said.

As long as we've decided to give over covering the news (and stuff like getting sportsball events into the paper the day after they happen), could we at least tidy up in the toy department a little?

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