Let not thy left hand ...

Friday afternoon's top story: The feckless Kenyan! He's bringing turrists to America for trial!

No. 2 story: The feckless Kenyan! He's not bringing a turrist to America for trial!

That's the real fun of Fox-watching. Most stories, most days, Fox is almost indistinguishable from journalism. Sources say things, and sometimes other sources contradict them, and scandals and celebrities and threats to our stable way of life show up in a predictably rank-ordered fashion. But every now and then, the wires get crossed: Mr. Ailes thinks he has the Kenyan going one way, and the Kenyan goes the other, and hilarity ensues.

The rest of the day's top news? Well, the No. 3 story stretches things somewhat farther than the originating Fox affiliate. There's no indication the family was "threatened with jail"; that seems to be what they told the locals, but no one seems to have bothered asking the folks who allegedly did the alleged threatening. Or, for that matter, whether Missouri lets HOAs* throw people in jail. (It didn't when I lived there, but you never know.)

Story No. 4 is still intact as of this writing (around 9:30 p.m. Eastern), though the original source reported more than three hours ago that the missing mom had been found.

* Never a good thing at Fox, though usually for other reasons. Why does Fox hate contracts? WHY DOES FOX HATE AMERICA?