Patient Zero

This just in: Researchers may have just nailed down the chain of transmission for "Michelle O's lunch rules," which appears to have reached Planet Fox about 20 minutes ago (as of this writing).

"Michelle O menu" and similar terms have been surfacing on Drudge with some frequency lately, mostly linking to EagNews.org, website of a Michigan-based outfit that appears to base its existence around the excess of gummint in our schools. Well, that and Common Core and the Lady Macbeth of the White House vegetable garden:

More schools dump Michelle O’s lunch rules, others are gluttons for misery (9/10)

Michelle O’s lunch rules sour first day of school for many students (8/29)

‘Best cafeteria cookie’ falls victim to Michelle O’s lunch rules (8/23)

Parent slams Michelle O’s lunch rules: ‘One more reason to hate school’ (8/15)

School board slams Michelle O’s lunch rules: ‘Nanny state interference’ (7/17)

School bans Chick-fil-A to comply with Michelle O’s lunch rules (7/14)

School food service director: Michelle O’s lunch rules make me ‘feel like I’m a food cop’ (7/11)

That appears to be the dominant strain, despite some recurring variations:

Georgia state school board takes a bite out of Michelle O’s snack rules (8/22)

School leader mocks Michelle O’s bake sale restrictions: We can’t fundraise ‘selling carrot sticks’ (7/9)

What's fun about these -- aside from figuring out who's going to play whom in the movie, I mean -- is that they don't even have to be true to do their magic work. Here's one from Thursday:

HERSHEY, Pa. – If Derry Township School District board member Andrea Abruzzo had her way, kids would celebrate their birthdays with carrots.
 
Abruzzo’s district is putting a greater emphasis on “non-food rewards,” including birthday treats.

To that end, Derry Township schools have banned cupcakes or “other snacks.”

“We’re trying to encourage non-food rewards for students. So that applies to birthday parties, successes they may have in the classroom,” Dan Tredinnick, the district’s director of school and community information, tells Fox 43.

True-ish and, well, pretty much entirely made up. That's the quote he gave the Fox station, though it omits the preceding paragraph (which -- pro tip -- journalists call the "lede"):

The Derry Township School District in Dauphin County is changing its food policy. Parents can still send food for classroom parties, but the district is asking people not to send cupcakes or other snacks to school with students for their birthdays and other special recognitions.

and another quote that comes several grafs later: 

“We are not banning snacks, but we are steering folks who prefer to provide snacks, to do so as part of the four seasonal classroom parties each elementary room schedules,” said Tredinnick. “There’s going to be no cupcake cops or anything like that."

In the 11th graf, we get the reason to mention Her Satanic Majesty:

Derry Township’s move – which stems from its “wellness policy” – comes on the heels of the newly implemented school snack regulations championed by First Lady Michelle Obama.

True-ish and -- you get the idea. How old is the policy, Fox 43?

Although a policy has been in place since 2008 the district is now focusing on food for a number of reasons. “There is a whole host of problems that come with bringing food into the classroom; nutrition is part of it, so are things like allergies,” said Tredinnick.

But the point -- we can run a picture of the scary colored lady with a carrot! -- wasn't lost on the commenters at EagNews:

"trying to teach healthy eating" not your job sir how about actually teaching math, science, writing, (long hand that you can read) technology so your charges can make something of themselves. speaking of reading that would be a great star to teach how to read!

Moochelle should push to limit SNAP/food stamps, so that you can only buy healthy food. Bet that wont happen

They dont have food stamps anymore. Its EBT now. Its a credit card. They can buy booze, cigs, lap dances and marijuana with EBT cards.

One just needs a glimpse of the drag-queen makeup Barry sported last night to understand why this is all happening.

Yet billions of my tax dollars in the form of food stamps buy candy, candy and more candy..I will hate to work the cash register again on Halloween as they feed their fat hordes Genetically altered sugary treats from the welfare entitlement Cache. Zombie costumes should be the rage since many don't need to apply anything but the green make up paint.

I'd like to tell her where to stick that carrot...

You know where you can put those carrots!

You aren't trying to teach healthy eating, you're trying to force it down everyone's throats. There's a BIG difference there. I say, send the cupcakes in, what will they do, throw it out? Wasting food is worse than anything else to the liberal mind, so let's see their heads explode at the hypocrisy in that.

Anyway, there's Patient Zero in the "Michelle O's lunch rules" outbreak, if you're scoring along at home.