They all look alike, anyway

Arr arr arr! Elite Fair 'n' Balanced international policy experts off the starboard port bow!

Pirates, beware — the U.S. Marine Corps could be coming to troubled waters near you.

And a gold doubloon to the first scurvy seadog who tells us which coast they be haunting! Arr!

As armed pirates continue to terrorize waters off Africa’s west coast at three times the rate than their Somali counterparts on the continent’s eastern coast, Marine officials are considering expanding its presence in and around the Gulf of Guinea to ward off piracy and other threats. Capt. Eric Flanagan, a Marine Corps spokesman, told FoxNews.com the force would be an extension of a larger crisis-response team established earlier this year in Spain to handle emergencies in northern Africa.

Arr! Err! Barbecued billygoats! Ye mean there be no Somali pirates in yon frontpage yarn?

... with a Navy ship stationed in or near the Gulf of Guinea, Flanagan said Marines could quickly respond to situations in northwest Africa and beyond.

“It’s being considered,” Flanagan continued. “At the moment, some of these things are still in the works, but this a potential response that the Marine Corps can provide.”

But still: Pirates! Marines! Who cares which side of the continent, as long as the scuppers run red with blood?

Piracy, however, would not likely be the “top priority” for the new force ultimately put in place off Africa’s west coast, Flanagan said. Other potential missions could include embassy reinforcement or humanitarian assistance.

Arr well. Secure from general quarters. Once you've said "Marines!" and "scary brown people" in the same image, your shift at the Fair 'n' Balanced Network be done.