Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Are you ready for the big leagues?

Further to Ed and Picky's discussion below, here's a genuine tabloid hed (Boston Herald 2008; a lovely vintage). Can you tell who's doing what to whom? If you can, without peeking, you could be ready for a tryout on Planet Tabloid!
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf

... the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995.

Just to keep the discussion going -- can we count US tabs as "redtops," or do you need noun piles and Page 3 Girls to qualify for that ranking?

the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf
the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.dpuf

the ex-Centerfolds dancer who had a two-night stand with Yankees cheater Alex Rodriguez, was the waitress on duty at the 99 Restaurant in Charlestown when five men were gunned down in 1995. - See more at: http://bostonherald.com/inside_track/inside_track/2008/07/a_rod_gal_slay_witness_99_%E2%80%9995#sthash.KyMA5x0J.d

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Ed Latham said...

It used to be that all you needed was a red masthead, although it got a bit more complicated in the early 2000s, when the Mirror changed its masthead from red to black under Piers Morgan's editorship, which was widely seen as a deliberate effort to distance itself from its peers and be more 'serious'.

The Post has a bit of red in its masthead already, of course. But really, I think what distinguishes a true redtop from a mid-market tabloid is its attitude to scandal: a mid-market is shocked! shocked! at illicit liaisons and imaginative bedroom experiments, whereas a redtop just welcomes them with undisguised glee. That makes the Post, hands down, a redtop in my book.

4:26 AM, August 21, 2013  
Anonymous Picky said...

I suppose the News of the World of blessed memory was a one-off. It certainly welcomed misdeeds with glee, at the same time as it was shocked! shocked! by them, until eventually it was so shocked by its own misdeeds that it shut down. I, and the love triangle nude porn vicars of Britain, still lament its passing.

10:11 AM, August 21, 2013  
Anonymous Ed Latham said...

Yes, that's true – perhaps the real test is whether you are prepared to describe a sexual activity (TOE JOB TO NO JOB!), in which case you are a redtop, or whether it is "an act too depraved to be described in a family newspaper", in which case you're the Daily Express.

11:21 AM, August 21, 2013  
Blogger The Ridger, FCD said...

I must admit I thought it was a witness to A-Rod's slaying of a gal, and I was surprised I hadn't heard of that happening...

6:03 PM, August 23, 2013  

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