Shut up, he explained

Bad things happen when newspapers let their TV "news partners" write the text:

It was the height of the storm when the giant tree fell on the Smith family's trailer on West Stage Coach Trail.

And how did we know?

Lawndale Fire Chief Phil Eaker was live on the phone during NewsChannel 36's storm coverage.

"We're getting a call. We have to go. We've got trees down on a mobile home," Eaker told First Warn meteorologist Brad Panovich.

And they caught it in the act too:

When Eaker and his team arrived, they found the tree flattening the home.

Nobody was inside, and the owner was easy to find:

They contacted Debbie Smith, who was at Walmart nearby. "That's the Lord's work. He sent me to Walmart," she told NewsChannel 36.

And it would have taken a brave soul to tell Him to get His own damn 12-pack next time. But now things get confusing:

Debbie heard from friends that a tree was down in her neighborhood and called a neighbor to check on her house.

So the fire department called to tell her a tree had hit her house, and she called a neighbor to see ... who wrote the script here, S.J. Perelman?

"[A neighbor] came running up here and let me know, and I said, 'Oh god! The dog," Smith explained.

My explanation exactly! And by now he's probably treejacked another tree and is running around looking for another home to crush! But reality is so much more mundane:

Their puppy Jack was in a cage in the back of the house, directly under the spot where the tree had fallen.

Anyway: Dog's fine, home somewhat less so, English language likely to survive another onslaught by journalism.