If at first ...

What with all the other distractions the Marxists are throwing at us -- the health cares, the international policies, the border crises, the bar codes for your forehead -- it's a relief to know that Some Networks are still keeping an eye on the biggest story of the year: the doings of ACORN. And it certainly looks as if they're going to keep on trying until they get it right.

The world's most super-important story on March 23 was a warning from Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa,* not to be fooled. ACORN can change its name all it wants, but it's still going to sell your daughters into slavery in Honduras. In other words, an ACORN by any other ... wait, that's the world's most super-important story on March 26, when Darrell Issa of California (also known as "lawmakers") warned that all this "disbanding" stuff was "just another scheme to get its hands on taxpayer funds."

Now fast-forward to April 2, when Issa (now demoted to "lawmaker," singular) is releasing his -- oh, let's go straight to the videotape:

A Republican lawmaker released a report Thursday that he says proves the controversial community activist organization ACORN is alive and well, contrary to its announcement that it is disbanding.

Can't wait for the next thrilling installment!

* Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y., has to be grateful every day that there's more than one correct answer to "Who's the stupidest Republican in Congress named King?"