Annals of elongated yellow fruit
Today's winner of the Elongated Yellow Fruit Syndrome award:
Rescue groups and the Michigan Humane Society said they have seen an influx of pet rabbits in the past few months, surrendered by owners who either can no longer afford them or are overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for the floppy-eared creatures often picked up on a whim at Easter or the Michigan State Fair.
Runner-up, this hat trick from the international desk:
An attacker hurled a statuette at Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi, striking the leader in the face at the end of a rally Sunday in Milan, Italy, and leaving the stunned 73-year-old media mogul with a bloodied mouth, police said.
No real reason not to turn this into two sentences, which would make it easier to get the time and place next to the hurling, rather than the striking. (It's not like the assailant was standing in Turin and hurling statues, one of which landed in Milan half an hour later.) Ledes get especially turgid sometimes because writers fear that if it isn't in the first sentence, it isn't in the lede. We could fix that, you know.
Rescue groups and the Michigan Humane Society said they have seen an influx of pet rabbits in the past few months, surrendered by owners who either can no longer afford them or are overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for the floppy-eared creatures often picked up on a whim at Easter or the Michigan State Fair.
Runner-up, this hat trick from the international desk:
An attacker hurled a statuette at Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi, striking the leader in the face at the end of a rally Sunday in Milan, Italy, and leaving the stunned 73-year-old media mogul with a bloodied mouth, police said.
No real reason not to turn this into two sentences, which would make it easier to get the time and place next to the hurling, rather than the striking. (It's not like the assailant was standing in Turin and hurling statues, one of which landed in Milan half an hour later.) Ledes get especially turgid sometimes because writers fear that if it isn't in the first sentence, it isn't in the lede. We could fix that, you know.
Labels: elongated yellow fruit
posted by fev at 8:47 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home