Thursday, October 15, 2009

Eds: Inserts dropped word "not"

Should we tell George Will before it's too late? "No, George! DON'T! They said 'DON'T do the brown acid!'" Or should we just sit back and watch the fun?

Consider nature. Not the placid nature that Constable painted, but nature as Tennyson saw it, "red in tooth and claw." To glimpse a state of nature as Hobbes imagined it, where human life is "nasty, brutish and short," visit the Whole Foods store on River Road in Bethesda. There, and -- let the political profiling begin -- probably at many Whole Foods stores and other magnets for liberals nationwide, you will see proof of this social equation: Four Priuses + three parking spaces = angry anarchy.

"I won't go schizo, will I?"
"It's a distinct possibility."

Anger is one of the seven deadly sins. Therefore advanced thinkers are agreed that conservatives are especially susceptible to it. As everyone knows, all liberals are advanced thinkers and all advanced thinkers are liberals. And yet. . . .

If you think the health-care town halls in August cornered the market on anger, come to Bethesda and watch the private security force -- normal men in an abnormal situation -- wage a losing struggle to keep the lid on liberal anger. When parking-lot congestion impedes the advance of responsible eaters toward the bin of heirloom tomatoes, you see that anger comes in many flavors.


You can tell this is going to be more fun than fabricated inferences about pronoun rates, because we don't even have to count anything. We're just going to riff about Those Liberals for a while.

You also see the problem with founding a nation, as America is founded, on the principle that human beings are rights-bearing creatures. That they are. But if that is all they are, batten down the hatches.

Go read the whole thing, if only to watch Will bring it all full circle:

Fortunately, it is a short drive from Chevy Chase to the mellow oasis of the River Road Whole Foods store, where comity can be rebuilt on the firm foundation of a shared reverence for heirloom tomatoes. And if you, you seething liberal, will put the pedal to the metal you can seize the store's last parking place. So damn the humps, full speed ahead.

... but don't blame me if you're slightly less smart after you read it than you were before. George Will has formally crossed the line and is now actively subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Ridger, FCD said...

Snerk. Even the Post knew better than to open comments on that one.

1:53 PM, October 15, 2009  
Anonymous rayb said...

That's turgid and turbid, even for George Will. I gather that he believes that liberals believe that only conservatives get angry.(?) Another thing liberals are wrong about. That's just such an odd premise and conclusion. Even for George Will.

4:46 PM, October 15, 2009  

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