Saturday, May 17, 2008

Is grad school for you?

Amid those tales of layoffs and buyouts, watching the company stock in your retirement plan settle ever lower in the water, you might be wondering if it's time to hope the fence for graduate school and a career in journalism education. Our friends at Conservapedia have put together a handy guide that can help you determine if academia is right for you!

First, what are "professor values," and how can you tell if you have them?

Professor values refer to the common value system embraced by a large percentage of professors, just as Hollywood values refers to the common value system of many in Hollywood.

An extremely high percentage of professors disagree with conservative principles. Professors' common value system typically includes atheism, censorship, socialism, unjustified claims of expertise and knowledge (for example, the dogmatic promotion of the theory of evolution), liberal beliefs, liberal grading, liberal bias, anti-patriotism, lack of productivity, bullying or discouraging conservative students (for example, homeschoolers), and promotion of sexual immorality.

That looks like a lot of ground to cover. And you may find yourself asking questions like:
  • When will I find the time to discourage conservative students?
  • How can I convince a tenure committee that I lack productivity?
  • How should faculty colleagues share the credit for promoting sexual immorality?
But there's a lot you can do in the meantime!

Professors block the granting of a tenured professorship to anyone who:
-- criticizes the theory of evolution
-- criticizes
feminism and/or abortion
-- opposes the
homosexual agenda

Professors wear white armbands to protest an award of an honorary degree to a conservative.

(All that goes under "service" in your tenure dossier.)

With the advent of online graduate programs and distance learning, it's never been easier to slip the surly bonds of journalism and find a home in the luxurious ranks of academe. What are you waiting for?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is really misleading, as professor values span the spectrum. Take for instance UBC in Vancouver, this is a more conservative school. Faculty members actively promote enlistment in the canadian military and openly persecute campus dissenters. Professors also advise the Board of Governors to invest in arms manufacturers and engage in back room real estate and construction contract deals.

This is not unique to UBC, many colleges hide these hyper conservative and neo-con activities.

3:29 PM, May 21, 2008  
Blogger fev said...

Yes, Conservapedia generally has a very low correlation with reality on many fronts.

9:40 PM, May 24, 2008  

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