You 'kids' and your 'abbreviations'

 

Before we roll our eyes too hard at Those Kids and What They're Doing To Our Words, it's always fun to dig into the archives -- here, your 1941 San Francisco Examiner -- and see how things looked in the past.

Why is "gas" in quotes in the Oct. 22 business section but quoteless in the news section on the same day? Probably not a fight between desks. The top hed refers to real gas, see -- the kind that's used to run factories. The "gas" in the second hed is that stuff autoists put in their autos. 

If you used your i'Phone to schedule a time for your 'flu shot, you might not be too surprised at the 'chute escape described below. And, yes, getting in the local university angle is like getting the dog's name -- by the time you're qualified to work for Hearst,* you're expected to know that kind of stuff.

 * Warren Breed, author of "Social control in the newsroom" (1955) and a former Hearst reporter, described this phenomenon in an interview for a journal article much later: Nobody had to tell you when a story should begin "Bands playing and flags flying...", because you already knew

Battle for the top

 

How do you pick the most Foxalicious story of a fairly ordinary day (Thursday, for example). Where do you even start? 

Could it be this classic "under fire" take from around 8:30 a.m.?

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., is facing criticism over initial claims she made about the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, with many noting that she wasn't even in the Capitol when it occurred.

The controversy erupted after the New York congresswoman posted a video in which she described a confrontation with Capitol Police at her office, which is located on the larger Capitol complex. But it is not in the Capitol itself — which includes the dome, the House, and the Senate — and was where many rioters stormed in and were seen breaking windows.

Her office is located in the Cannon building, which is accessible through underground tunnels connected to the Capitol as well as via a short stroll down a walkway and across the street. It was also one of the buildings where staff was told to evacuate after suspicious packages were found in the area. Law enforcement found pipe bombs and Molotov cocktails in the vicinity.

Clearly worth the No. 2 spot of the morning, right?

... On Wednesday, she faced a wave of backlash. Rep. Nancy Mace, R-S.C., also blasted
media coverage, tweeting that insurrectionists never stormed the hallway that she shares with Ocasio-Cortez. The hashtag #AlexandriaOcasioSmollet trended, an apparent comparison to actor Jussie Smollett, who falsely claimed to be the victim of a hate crime.

To be fair, assorted Fox allies tried to get several hashtags trending, including the misspelled one highlighted downpage the previous evening. But as a Fox reader, you didn't really need the prompt, did you?

Or could the day's Foxiest story be the discovery, around 3 p.m., that those Endless Wars the previous administration was always ending are a pretty good idea after all?

President Biden announced Thursday that the U.S. will end its support for Saudi-led offensive operations in Yemen against Houthi rebels, as part of a new foreign policy outlook by the new administration.

"This war has to end, and to underscore our commitment we are ending all American support for offensive operations in the war in Yemen, including relevant arm sales," Biden said.

Earlier, National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan pointed to the stopping of two arms sales of precision-guided munitions that were moving forward under the last administration as an example.

Nice, but I'm going with the story that broke into the No. 3 spot around 8:30:

Though the numbers aren’t public, Hunter Biden was likely paid big bucks for his new book deal. 

The tale of Hunter Biden’s experience with drug addiction will "likely" earn the president’s son a number in the "high six figures," a book industry source told Fox News. 

Fox News has reached out to Simon & Schuster for confirmation. 

...Sources tell the Daily Mail Hunter likely received an advance as high as $2 million and could earn millions more if he allows his life story to be filmed. 

This is actually Fox's third story of the day on the alleged memoir but the first to omit this crucial sideswipe:

Hunter Biden's book will be published by Simon & Schuster, the same publishing house that dropped Sen. Josh Hawley, R-Mo., from a book deal over Hawley's objection to the certification of electoral votes from Pennsylvania. The protest of the votes led to a pro-Trump mob attacking the U.S. Capitol.

The final effort required the efforts of three Fox staffers (one in the byline, two in the shirttail), Considering that the main point of a Foxclusive like this seems to be getting the commenters riled up -- at this writing, it takes all of five reader comments to get to SOROS!11!!1!!!1!1!!!!!1!!! -- one wonders whether if wouldn't have been easier just to take the wire story and give everybody the evening off.