When similes attack

If only the Kenyan usurper hadn't grabbed all that surplus military hardware away from local police departments, someone might have wondered:

The sky was clear but the storm kept coming, a relentless downpour of scarlet and gray that ran, got up, ran, got up, and ran some more. The Ohio State rushing attack was a tank, collecting first downs like mud in its tires and rolling over every possession, plowing through third downs, only stopping when it hit the end zone wall. Six touchdowns? Three hundred and sixty-nine yards rushing? Against a Michigan defense that was ranked fourth in the nation against the run?