Dear Wheeler: You provide the prose poems ...

Even amid the haste to do the Party's bidding, there's always room for some elongated yellow fruit at The Washington Times!

The gentle sea cow is the latest draftee in the nation’s ongoing “war on coal.”

Congressional Republicans have rushed to the manatee’s defense in an effort to slow new carbon emissions regulations, while the Obama administration is rejecting claims its forthcoming rules on coal-fired power plants will pose a direct threat to the Florida habitat of the endangered bulbous marine mammals.

Particularly if you remember the War On Birds, you'll want to read the whole thing!