Wait til you see those bats

Some ledes are so awe-inspiring that all you can do is, oh, sit around and think of ways to repunctuate them. Or read them in the voices of various actors in great roles -- say, Martin Sheen in "Apocalypse Now":

Jesus Christ. The auto show.

You can enjoy the whole thing yourself, and I don't think we'd be spoiling dinner to skip to the conclusion:

And because I went straight from the DIA to Cobo, I couldn't help asking myself, "What would Jesus drive?"

I don't know. But I bet it'd have a chalice holder.

He could have carried that one a little farther, you think?

You know, Abbott, those biblical cars sure have funny names these days.

Tell me a couple, so when I get to the auto show, I know who is driving what.

Well, Jesus drives a Saturn. And Mary drives a Mercury.

Yeah? What does Pontius Pilate drive?

Nails!*

They'll be here all week, folks. Don't forget your server!

* Punch line courtesy of operative "Natasha."