Monday, June 20, 2011

Lede of the day: Out, damned water!

Why we (used to) have editors:

Former UCF football player Anthony Davis told a jury coach George O'Leary ordered athletic trainers and water to leave the indoor practice facility during Ereck Plancher's final workout.


It's now been "updated" at the source paper:

Former UCF football player Anthony Davis told a jury coach George O'Leary ordered athletic trainers and water be removed from the fieldhouse during Ereck Plancher's final workout.

... but it lives on at sites that are eager to post the latest from your authoritative paper.

It really, really doesn't take a lot of editing to keep ledes like this from seeing publication. But it does take some. Imagine if readers actually expected you to write better than they do.

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3 Comments:

Blogger The Ridger, FCD said...

I'll bet he ordered them "out of" the facility, and it got 'cleaned up'.

9:04 AM, June 21, 2011  
Blogger Strayhorn said...

I didn't realize that juries had coaches.

"he told a jury coach . . . "

4:00 PM, June 21, 2011  
Blogger Caran said...

I'm with Strayhorn. That's the bit that caused me to stumble, before I got to the water being ordered to leave.

9:15 AM, June 29, 2011  

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