Saturday, August 07, 2010

RTFS/LTFP

It's not enough to just read the story before writing the heds. You (ahem) need to look at the pictures too. 

Techically, there's no correction here: the story is all about jets, after all, and no doubt they'll be roaring and soaring, just as the kicker says. But that's not what the package says. The brain has already put "jets" together with a picture of propeller-driven aircraft long before the eyes get to the boring old text.

Hard to believe how many sets of eyes this one must have gone past without even a flicker of curiosity. And there's about as easy a fix as you could ask. Just take out "jets" and leave it as "roaring and soaring." It isn't Shakespeare, but odds are nothing else you write this year will be either.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Thunder' doesn't go so well with four old props either.

12:52 PM, August 07, 2010  
Blogger John Cowan said...

In point of fact it suggests something decidedly excretory: "boom-boom over Michigan".

3:32 PM, August 07, 2010  

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