Sunday, August 13, 2017

2 Dacron women feared missing

What does it take for national news to land in the lead position at the Sunday fishwrap?

The Detroit Red Wings are exploring possible legal action after a slightly modified team logo appeared on signs held by protesters at a violent and deadly white nationalist rally in Virginia on Saturday.  

Oh.

The signs, which showed the team’s winged-wheel logo spokes altered to look more like swastikas, sparked outrage in the National Hockey League and among social media users.

I wonder when we'll menti0n the war recent unpleasantness. Who had "after the jump, fifth graf"?

... The sign holders were among thousands at the volatile Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville to protest the removal of a monument to Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee. One person was killed and at least 19 injured after a car drove into a crowd of protesters, hours after a state of emergency was declared due to the event.

Granted that (a) nobody gets "news" from the Sunday paper and (b) unique content is king, do you think there might still be some value in not looking like One of America's Newspapers?
One more thing. Given that the point in the contract is approaching at which the Freep can offshore its editing, could we ask that you stop trying to make that look so much like an improvement?
If you're diagramming that last sentence and trying to figure out if Robert E. Lee had arrived to protest the racism, or if the "group" was planning to protest the removal of the "others," this appears to be what the AP actually wrote:

The chaos boiled over at what is believed to be the largest group of white nationalists to come together in a decade. The governor declared a state of emergency, and police dressed in riot gear ordered people out. The group had gathered to protest plans to remove a statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee, and others arrived to protest the racism.

As with much AP prose, it isn't Shakespeare.* But at least it's not word gazpacho garnished with a misapplied** NYT style rule. Suggestion for the cousins downtown: If you're not interested in treating your readers like adults, please stop helping the folks who actually are.

* And dogs don't know it's not BACON! Thanks, I'll be here all week.
** The Times's "false title" rule calls for adding the "the" if you wouldn't use the title to address someone -- as in, unfortunately, "Good morning, General Lee."

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