Monday, December 17, 2012

One born every minute

Sigh. Dear cousins downtown:

1) "Bigfoot" is a fictional creature. If you would not approach an editor with the idea of writing a story about invisible pink unicorns (look! there's one in the shrubbery behind Bigfoot!), why would you allow your name to be placed atop a story about Bigfoot?
2) It proceeds from (1) that Bigfoot is not a story.
3) It should proceed from (2) that Bigfoot does not become a story simply because "researchers" from a "popular Animal Planet reality show" have decided -- yes, Virginia, there's one born every minute -- to spend "nearly a week in April ... searching for the elusive ape-like beast":

If Sasquatch exists, does he reside in Michigan?

The researchers who star in the popular Animal Planet reality show "Finding Bigfoot" think so -- and spent nearly a week in April in the northern Lower Peninsula searching for the elusive ape-like beast.


Well, good for them. Other than the need for an endless stream of suckers to make the lottery go 'round, is there a reason we should be giving these folks such prominence?

..."Between the forests, swamps and farmlands, there is more than enough food and cover for a healthy population of Bigfoots to feed and remain largely undetected, even though they do so virtually under the nose of their human neighbors," Barackman* told the Free Press.


No doubt he did. But would there be some reason you decided to pass his judgments along to the public?

Sad news, kids. People are shameless creatures. They'll say almost anything, especially when you give them a free chance to promote their own financial interests. Perhaps we should reconsider the habit of running stories about fictional creatures when the only purpose at hand is that very set of financial interests.


*Cliff Barackman, identified in the text as "show investigator."

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