Friday, December 01, 2006

Aaaaaaaaaargh redux

Let us give thanks for the crosstown competition, for whenever the Missourian doth something clueless, the Trib is likely to be close behind, if not steaming into the lead.

As in:
Old Man Winter dumped between a foot and 15½ inches of snow on Columbia in a 24-hour period, making this year the second most significant snowfall since 1900.

Let's try to get this straight before any more of December sinks below the horizon, shall we? No "Old Man Winter." No "Big Chill." No "white stuff." No "Mother Nature." Ever.

That's by no means an exhaustive list. Xpesmas is just around the corner, and eternal torment awaits those who perpetrate "'Tis the season" and any of its ilk. The eloquent and patient John McIntyre offers this list of never-never cliches. Heed it and the danger to your soul is dramatically reduced.

And remember, bad construction is bad construction all year 'round:

...making this year the second most significant snowfall since 1900.

A year is a snowfall? Sheez. Read the stuff before you hit the send button, OK?

Nor is this much better:
From left, MU students Katie Borges, Pam Olszewski and Alex Swoyer throw snow at Stankowski Field on Thursday.

Threw snow at Stankowski Field, did they? Any of 'em hit it? Or is that like the Missourian throwing prepositional phrases at the broad side of a barn? Once again: If it reads silly, don't sent it.

And be sure to look at the picture while writing the cutline. Which of those three is throwing something?


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