Silliest cause-and-effect statement of the (still-young) day

Lord knows there are too many college students for whom life begins and ends with beer and sex. That's why colleges hire chaplains. And campus cops.

Copyeds, it's worth remembering that even opinion columns are supposed to have at least some slight grounding in the empirical world. It's quite in-bounds to suggest here that the writer provide some evidence for his bizarre claim about what causes the hiring of chaplains and cops.

One doesn't quite to know what to make of "too many college students for whom life begins and ends with beer and sex." Is it from a driver's ed movie? Or a junior high sex ed class?