And the winner is ...

It's hard to single anybody out on the red-in-tooth-and-claw fight for Dumbest Astronaut Hed of the Still-Young Millennium:

Moonstruck

Astronut?

Good heavens!

... so we'll just point to a couple that stand out for their go-the-extra-light-year awfulness. Take a bow, Fox News:

And gather 'round for a lesson in the difference between Omit Needless Words and Omit Words, presented by Ohio's Greatest Home Newspaper:

Well, no. To have a "murder" charge, somebody has to, you know, kind of ring down the curtain and join the choir invisible. This charge is called "attempted murder." You can debate the merits of such a charge in this particular case all you want, but you can't make it something it isn't. Or at least you shouldn't.