Friday, September 22, 2006

Assorted hed offenses

Without further ado:

Accused molester may enter guilty plea
Indeed he may. And then again, maybe he won't. Why not stick to what you know, which is that he's scheduled for a change of plea hearing, rather than guessing -- that's the technical term -- about what he might be intending to do there?

Should he be acquitted, of course, we look forward to the hed that calls him "acquitted molester."

Man may face death in child's killing
Absolutely! And then again, maybe he won't! In lots of jurisdictions, the suspect actually has to be convicted before this becomes an issue. Here's a suggestion: Buy a Ouija board and a funny cloak. Go to the county fair and pick up some spare change by making stuff up about the future. When you get back to the office, write about things that you know. Try to leave us with the impression that you're doing journalism, not PR for the prosecutor's office.

Feds vote to leave rates level, for now
Feds link timing of dinner, Geddings' selection
Uh, no. In the first case, the common shorthand for the Federal Reserve is the "Fed," not the "Feds." In the second, "Feds" -- like "moniker," "moolah" and the like -- is annoyingly faux-retro. Sort of the equivalent of "G-men," but not nearly as cool. If you can't stick to your own decade, at least try to stick to your own century.

When do you issue an Amber Alert?
"Short answer?" the argus-eyed Florida bureau chief asks of this 1A lede hed. "I don't." She has a point, don't you think?


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